I can’t believe July is almost over. This summer has gone by so fast. It feels like I’ll blink and it will be over. It has been one crazy ride…. and we STILL don’t know what will happen next! We moved onto the farm at the end of April, and have been living in our R.V ever since. I have had more then a few people ask me why on earth we are still in our trailer, are we building… do we have a plan?
The only way to answer that question is with a good belly laugh. We never intended to move into our trailer at all (let alone for 3.5-4 months) but it seems like God had other plans for us, or at the very least a totally different time frame lol. And we have drawn closer to Him through the process, enjoying rest and a slower pace while we wait.
But I am not going to lie, what started off feeling like a great adventure now has me feeling a little deflated. Our situation is super confusing and as one door after another closed while we tried to purchase a smaller rental property ( after selling our “big” house), we were left feeling confused. It has taken months for the bank to get all our paper work organized and each step took weeks to approve ( we have purchased 4 houses through-out our marriage, two of them are rental properties, and we have never had it take longer then 2 weeks to process them and get the keys). What should have been a quick approval process was not, even though we were moving into something “smaller” and wiser financially then what we were living in before. A+B should = C, but it didn’t in our case.
Finally we had everything in order (switching banks half way through the process) and were officially pre-approved again! We anticipated finding something ASAP and moving in. We have looked at what feels like EVERYTHING on the market and every single time we walk out shaking our heads knowing thats not it, something doesn’t fit our criteria we need and because this isn’t just a personal decision but also a business decision we can’t seem to find something to purchase if our lives depended on it (HA).
So now we are left with moving on from our rental property search and purchasing another “regular” home ( and hopefully being approved for it, although we still have no guarantees) but because this wasn’t what we had been hoping for we feel like we don’t even know where to start, and we are running out of time. We are tired of purchasing houses only to move on a few years later but we don’t have a clue where we want to settle down…. well actually we have lots of dreams but all of them are not in our budget ha. So…. thats where we are at. Anyone else having a summer that seems to be requiring of them an extra dose of faith, patience, and trying to find joy amongst a confusing experience, all while living out a very public lifestyle that has many many people asking you why you be so crazy!?
I know I can’t be the only one!
Not surprisingly when I dwell on all our “problems” ( certainly there are worse problems then these but never the less they are feeling like a mountain of mess) my soul feels heavy and my mind feels cluttered and confused.
But then I hear a whisper that says ” I am with you” and my heart feels comforted even though I don’t feel comfortable, I feel joy even though I am afraid and overwhelmed…. as I shift my gaze from all the problems and look at Jesus, I cling to the truth that He hasn’t taken us this far only to let us fall. I feel lost but He has not forgotten me. He knows winter is coming ( sooner here then other parts of the world haha), and we need a home! It feels foggy in my mind but if I look into the distance, I am certain there is a parting in the clouds……
And so we will continue to WAIT while searching, TRUST while moving slowly through the fog, and wait EXPECTANTLY in HOPE that the clearing is coming soon.
So if you find yourself in a season like this, I am with you. Lets encourage one another to take our eyes off our problems and look to the one who brings peace, joy and love even amongst the painful, confusing, challenging or seemingly hopeless seasons of life.
Isaiah 62:4 ” It will no longer be said to you, “forsaken”, nor to our land will it any longer be said, “desolate”; But you will be called, ” My delight is in her,” …..